(via confessionsofateenagefangirl)

Cuddy: Did someone go poopy? … What? How did you eat a dime?
Rachel: House.

No, you don’t. Sit down, House.

“You’re gonna make a great mommy one day.”

Taub: What are you doing here?
House: Uh… Wilson’s gotta a two year old with cancer. She’s in a lot of pain, it’s very sad. [they hear Rachel laughing outside the room] He also has an outstanding bedside manner.

Rachel: Tickles!
Wilson: That’s because I’m the Tickle Monster!

Stop calling him, he’s k-k-k-k-kinda busy.

“Hello. I’m the friendly moose who lives outside your bedroom.”

Wilson: [sees Cuddy coming] Medusa at 6 o’clock. Don’t look back. Move!